Mahaney and Cage, Revealing My Sin

How can we understand the immensity of Christ's work on the cross? Is it enough for us to simply say that God has been good to us, that He showed us mercy by sacrificing His Son on our behalf? This is a glorious, no doubt, but how often do we feel the force of Christ's work when we hear these words? I'm not sure about anyone else, but when I hear that Christ sacrificed Himself for me, I usually have a passing thought of some of the bad things I've done, express a shallow, fleeting feeling of sorrow, and then give Him a quick thanks for forgiving me for that time that I lied or that other time when I had a lustful thought.

Is this enough? Certainly there is some truth in this sort of a response, but can any of us actually believe that these shallow feelings of remorse over our petty sins is the extent of the meaning of the cross? Doesn't it seem that if we are to begin to grasp even some tiny part of the significance of the cross, that we are going to have to have a far more graphic and real understanding of what sin looks like and specifically how repulsive, evil, and egregious we ourselves are in our sin? How can we be continually struck with the full force of the grace of God in salvation if we are not continually confronted with the complete perversion and repugnance of our own sin? If we are to know what it meant for Christ to take on and become all of the sin that has ever been or ever will be committed, the surely we will need a realistic image of sin in our minds.

I have been reading Christ Our Mediator by C.J. Mahaney. Mahaney attempts to hit us with the force of our sin and our need for a mediator in light of God's holiness. He states that:

In making this point, my ultimate purpose is not to convict you of sin, but to convince you of grace. Unless you're deeply aware of your sin, and of what an affront it is to God's holiness, and of how impossible it is for Him to respond to this sin with anything other than furious wrath - you'll never appreciate grace, and it will never be amazing to you. Only those who are truly aware of their sin can truly cherish grace.

But how can we understand the full force of our sin? I think it is safe to say that if we have a proper understanding of the seriousness of our sin, this understanding will be regularly followed by feelings of horror over the grotesqueness of it. If we are honest, I think that we will admit that our daily transgressions and failings, deadly sins thought they are, rarely hit us with the force that they hit Christ in the Garden of Gathsemane when he was so burdened by the thought of them that he was unable to stand.

No doubt, the way in which we begin to realize the full measure of our sin will have a large degree of variety for each person as it is revealed to them by God. I was recently confronted with my sin in a way that I don't think we often enough allow for, and in many cases might discourage altogether. Last night I watched the movie 8MM, starring Nicolas Cage and Joaquin Phoenix, with some friends. It is a deeply disturbing film that is centered around a murder investigation in the underground pornography business. It depicts vial individuals who participate in the worst kinds of sexual and murderous sins. It shows the effects that these things can have on a "normal" like Cage's character. It makes not excuses regarding environment or upbringing for the people who participate in these soul scaring activities, but rather, as one character confesses, "I do these things because I like them."

I was completely repulsed by the images and characters in this film - which, I might add, was the entire point of the film. The most disturbing thing about it though, is not that these sort of repulsive and nauseating things are done somewhere, by someone - but rather, that my own repulsive and nauseating attitudes and thoughts come a whole lot closer to these sort of things than I am comfortable admitting. After watching a film like this, I cannot just dismiss my sins as little missteps that may grieve God, but in reality don't have that much consequence. I cannot think of Christ's burden taken to the cross as something less the worst possible fate that any person could dread.

But also, I cannot help but shout for joy over the grace that I have been shown! I cannot stop thinking about the love of Christ that he has taken these things on himself for me. I cannot stop wondering at the fact that it is not only the abstract concept of sin the He has forgiven, but it is my very own horrific transgressions that no longer count against me. This is an amazing revelation. If we are to truly understand and rejoice in God's grace, we must truly understand our own depravity. I believe that of the many creative ways that God has of doing this, one of them can be through artistic expressions of this depravity. Our God is unlimited and truly endless! We can see that in the unbelievable creativity and unpredictability of the cross. I believe that in order that we may better understand the depths of this glorious work, He will also use creative means to reveal to us our own sin.

Let us not shy away from the confession that we are the worst of sinners. It only makes Christ a more glorious Saviour.